I was 13 years old when this happened. I dreamt that my dad who died when i was 3 was speaking to me. He was on the other side of the fence looking casual and non-challah this. He asked me if i wanted to come be with him. I said, “of course.” He extended his hand over the fence. An electric force run through me and i was thrown backwards. I woke in a cold sweat. I was still on this side.
School got easier over the coming years. My memory which had not been remarkable was as co-operative as a golden doodle. This is what i got. Short term memory. I could memorize a 20-page document from A to Z. A week later, i could hardly recall the first sentence. It took me through med school and graduate school. It took me through my medical speciality.
Then, I said the word. Stop. I want long term memory and not short term memory. I no longer want to forget. And ‘poof’ it was all gone. It happened after Ma died. I was unmoored. I was lost. I was praying hard for the favor I found. A little 10 year old girl who had lost her virginity to hired help. Nothing exotic. Nothing worth remembering. Something worth forgetting?
More often than not, it is better to forget.
girlsnotprey 