Memory Powerpack

I was 13 years old when this happened. I dreamt that my dad who died when i was 3 was speaking to me. He was on the other side of the fence looking casual and non-challah this. He asked me if i wanted to come be with him. I said, “of course.” He extended his hand over the fence. An electric force run through me and i was thrown backwards. I woke in a cold sweat. I was still on this side.

School got easier over the coming years. My memory which had not been remarkable was as co-operative as a golden doodle. This is what i got. Short term memory. I could memorize a 20-page document from A to Z. A week later, i could hardly recall the first sentence. It took me through med school and graduate school. It took me through my medical speciality.

Then, I said the word. Stop. I want long term memory and not short term memory. I no longer want to forget. And ‘poof’ it was all gone. It happened after Ma died. I was unmoored. I was lost. I was praying hard for the favor I found. A little 10 year old girl who had lost her virginity to hired help. Nothing exotic. Nothing worth remembering. Something worth forgetting?

More often than not, it is better to forget.

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